Fertile Myrtle…or not?


Will I be one of those lucky few I read about in the infertility forums who get a BFP after their first IUI?  Will I have to do multiple IUI’s or eventually IVF??  The unknown is super scary, but when the  unknown is also uncontrollable, the crazy, OCD, control freak in me screams and talks to me in my sleep!!!  I have not even tried to get preggo yet so in my head, I am fertile myrtle until proven otherwise.  That is how I am staying sane.  Judge me, call me an unrealistic optimist, but I am banking on my cozy uterus, hardworking ovaries, and special super sperm to make us a baby asap!

I’ve decided that fertility treatments are a crap shoot and I don’t gamble so I’m not getting the hang of all these percentages. It seems weird to me that  a 36-year-old woman with one tube and pcos gets preggo on her first try, yet the 24-year-old girl in the peak of health eventually has to have IVF.  Does that make sense?  Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely happy for each and every woman who has a baby, especially when they have been trying so hard.  It is just insane to me how random the whole BFP outcomes seem to be. 

Well, our first IUI is scheduled for Thursday.  I had an 18 mm follie, and 9mm lining as of CD14 and since I am triggering on CD15 (tonight), I am hoping both have grown a bit in the last 24 hours.  It only takes one sperm and one egg.  Hopefully our thawed popsicle sperm have been given the pep talk at the doctors office and are excited to go find my egg!  Think of it as a very important Easter hunt.  I was thinking about leaving them directions somewhere in there, but since that is not possible, I will stick to taking the day off work, keeping my hips elevated, and chanting nursery rhymes while meditating so they have an easier journey…ok now I sound crazy.

I have never once in my life been one of those lucky people who win contests, races, awards, or anything really.  But this is the most important thing I will ever do in my entire life and I am praying that for once, I will be one of those lucky woman who wins a BFP on the first try!


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