The Junk Food Diet, or not

YUMMM.

Blah.

Blah. Blah.

That about sums up my mood for the past week.

We found out a few weeks ago that our landlord was not renewing our current lease so he can short sell the house we are living in. Normally that would have been fine, it is his house and all, however, we cannot seem to find another place to live. Not to mention the timing. As if TTC wasn’t stressful and expensive enough, now we have to come up with moving and deposit money too?

As for this cycle, it has been very easy so far, except trying not to pack on the pounds. I have been on the BCP’s for about a week and a half now, no side effects to report except some bloating. I have also been really trying to watch what I eat. I am overweight and have been my whole life. Not exactly truck weighing station or cut you out of the house kind of fat, but I could stand to lose at least 50-60lbs. Knowing how this could affect my IVF and fertility scares me but I don’t know how to be any other way. The plus side is that I have not had any medical problems directly due to my weight. No high blood pressure, diabetes, or PCOS. Just general discomfort and the ill fitted jeans problem (but don’t all women suffer from that?) I also had a total thyroidectomy, but that was due to Hyperthyroidism. I’ve been trying to maintain my thyroid levels with medication since the surgery and it hasn’t always been easy, especially when weight fluctuates, but for now it’s okay.

So while I would have loved to drop a bunch of weight pre-pregnancy, I have tried and tried and do not want to put our dreams of having a baby off any longer. Plus, I think it’s better to start trying young and overweight then wait until I am skinny and older. I’ve been reading a lot of stories, blogs, and posts, which have led me to believe even overweight women have a good chance of getting pregnant with the right treatment.

Still, even if I am not trying to lose weight, I would at the minimum like to maintain my current size. The last thing I want when I finally get my BFP, is to develop GD or something worse. That is probably why there are so many TTC food do’s & don’ts. No sushi, tuna, white grains, sugar, soda, spicy food, caffeine, chocolate, motrin Apparently NOTHING is safe to eat while TTC! I’ve heard everything from mercury in fish being harmful, to caffeine causing uterine contractions. That makes sense but I think it is mostly about staying healthy and trying to not pile on weight from the meds….and stress. People seem to gain a ton of weight from all these hormones. What I can’t understand is if 9 billion women get preggo everyday and 3% of those women are smoking crack and slugging down a 6 pack of coke every hour, why can’t I have a maki roll or snickers bar while trying to have my baby? My only guess is that if we are consciously trying to get pregnant, we should do everything we can to stay healthy. Not complaining, just venting….and having sugar withdraw.

Because I have not completely eliminated all of the foods listed above from my diet, I have quit smoking which I believe is the most important TTC don’t anyway! Besides, I would never want to end up looking like Kate Moss (HA! In my dreams!) by not eating enough (who am I kidding?), I have decided to cut back on the junk food while TTC (and in reality, should continue long after) instead of giving it up all together and going insane. I admit I still drive through Starbuck’s every morning and get my black iced tea, but to justify it, I get a smaller size, and don’t always finish the whole drink. Also, I have not had sushi or tuna since I started trying in July (I miss it way more than I expected), and have eliminated all sugar substitutes (former Splenda addict), as well as Coke. Now I only consume the real deal sugar and caffeine free soda, which I try not to indulge in often. I have also decided that even with the “cutting back” I binge on way too much chocolate and junk food and feel that I need an intervention to stop! Ok, maybe not an intervention but I really need to learn to control myself better. Luckily I still have a few weeks before I start stims so I might go all health food next week and instead of taking an hour lunch at work to eat junk and gossip with co-workers, I will head into our gym and walk for 30 minutes.

So that is where I am at as of today. Trying to stay sane amidst my crazy personal life and our TTC journey. I know this will all be so worth it. And BTW, if anyone does read this, I would love to know what, if any, foods you gave up while TTC.

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It’s my med’s in a box!

box 'o meds

now that's a lot of medication!

At work yesterday, I got a call from the receptionist letting me know I have a very large package at the front. Hmmm, I was wondering what it could be, then it dawned on me….my box ‘o meds. I remember my insurance company calling to confirm the list of medications and asking me where I would like them shipped however
 
A. I was not expecting them this soon
B. I was expecting a cute little package and this box was huge, massive, ginormous, and weighed a ton!
 
Knowing full well I could not carry that myself (or if you must know I was just too lazy) I called our office maintenance person and asked him to please drop the box off at my desk. I swear it was so big I was convinced the nice lady at the insurance company felt bad for me and decided to send a whole baby instead. Quite frankly that would have been much easier. It was quite embarrassing though because the box had a label stating it was medication and needed to be refrigerated. And I am supposed to explain that how? I went through different scenarios like, a friend of a friend’s cousin is in the Peace Corps helping children in Africa and I offered to ship the meds she needs. Or, I found a penguin on the internet for only $20 and they just have to keep him cool while he is in the box. Neither of those seemed plausible so when the maintenance person gave me the, “what the hell is in that box” look, I just shrugged my shoulders and pretended it was a surprise. So much for discreet.
 
On my way home I made sure to call DH so he was outside waiting for me to carry the monstrosity of a box inside. He could not believe it was all medication and when I started unpacking the box, one package at a time, he looked horrified. A sheer look of panic set in his face, almost to say, “I hope you don’t think I am going to be giving you all those shots everyday”, without actually saying that of course. (I would like to add not because DH is mean and heartless, just because he has a crazy fear of needles and his hands shake. Trust me, I want him doing it less then he does!) I believe it was then he truly felt sorry for me and understood what I am about to endure.
 
I will admit, I am totally nervous. I heard from a woman on a forum I frequent that she likes to put an ice-cube on the area for a bit before the injection to numb it. It makes sense and I probably would not have thought of that, which is why I love the ttc forums. You get such great advice and commradere that you just can’t get from friends, family, or neighbors. Even though I don’t really know these people, I feel like we all share a bond of understanding that goes way beyond the computer.
 
Anyway, it took a good 15 minutes of unpacking and reading directions after which we then proceed to clean out the fridge so my new goodies could have their own shelf. We had no idea how much room we would need for all the meds. We also made a nice area in the kitchen for all the non perishable medication. As we were cleaning the thought of explaining to our future child that this whole process started out with the baby making items next to the salad was unnerving me. Maybe this will be a pre cursor for our child to like veggies
 
Either way, we are willing to do whatever it takes to conceive the baby of our dreams, even if that means I have to turn myself into the human equivalent of a pin cushion.